Perhaps the reason I love to write first kiss scenes is because I know I can make them happen. Something I seemed wildly unable to do in real life despite a lot of wishing and hoping and thinking and planning and dreaming. You all know the song, right? No? Well, it’s an oldie, but it may have a point, so maybe worth a listen. There’s even a cover by Ani DiFranco if you prefer to go that indie ironic route (which generally I do).
You can think about kissing all you want, but the thing is, sometimes the only way to get kissed, is to kiss someone.
I had a book growing up. Let’s just call it Guerilla Love (the working title of my Nanowrimo project for November about a love experiment using lessons from a book like this that goes horribly wrong!). I was doing research this week and was shocked to discover that the book is still in print and incredibly well-reviewed on Amazon. I was shocked because it’s filled with some truly terrible advice in my humble opinion.
Here’s one example I always remembered. Kiss a person you’re interested in whether they want you to or not.
Yeah. Take a second. Digest.
If they push you away, act like nothing happened. I think the exact phrase was “just go on with the conversation” which I think we can all agree is certifiably insane. Later, the book promises, when your object of desire is alone, they will think about the kiss and want to do it again.
I want to argue profusely with this little tidbit. Tell you it’s ridiculous. That of course you should never do this. Terrible, terrible advice. The worst.
I never tried it. Not once. And instead of having a Lara-Jean-like list of all the boys I’ve loved before, I have a list of all the boys I never kissed. A list of all the boys who never had the chance to think about me later and come to the conclusion that they wanted to kiss me again.
Frankly my missed-first-kiss list is long. So here’s an abridged version for the sake of illustration.
Note: The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Namely me. I don’t want any of these real guys emailing me to tell me why there was no first kiss.
So what’s my point? I’m definitely not suggesting anyone should run around kissing every person they think is cute right in the middle of a conversation about yesterday’s algebra homework. I still think that’s terrible advice. But looking back, I do wonder what I was so afraid of. And maybe sometimes, in the right situation, a little Guerilla Love is in order. Maybe sometimes it’s better to be a little brave than left alone in your own dark room with a list of all the boys you could have kissed.